Heat a wok adding all the seasoning ingredients one by one in the order mentioned. As the mustard seeds crackle and splutter include chopped bhindi (lady's finger). Fry them for few minutes.
Now mix in tamarind extract, jaggery and turmeric powder in to the roasted bhindi. Let it cook in simmer till soft.
Heat a separate wok/kadai and dry roast split bengal gram, split black gram and fenugreek seeds one after the other till they turn slightly brown. Remove them and roast red chillies in a tsp of oil. When they puff up remove them too. Switch off the flame. Let all the spices to cool down and then powder them together finely. Keep it aside.
When the bhindi turns soft, add the ground spice powder to it. Add salt as well. Combine them together with little water. Switch off once it is boiling.
Sweet, sour and spicy bhindi gravy authentic to Udupi called bende kayirasa is ready. Relish it as side dish with rice.